We all tell a stinker every once in a while. It always
goes a little something like this…
You finish the joke, “and then the sausage says,
‘Eat me!’” and the room is silent. It
is deathly silent as people realize that the joke is over
and that it was not at all funny. You have wasted their
time and enjoyment. The girl who was amicably chatting
with you earlier is sneaking out the door. People are
staring at you and everything is in slow motion. The guy
to the left of you is rolling his eyes. People are starting
to snear and walk away from you. It is a scary time for
the teller of the joke.
I have ways to end your frustration. There are a few things
that can save you so that people will forget all about
the crappy joke and remember only your crazy antics. There
are many tricks to this trade, and today I will share
five of them with you.
- Put a dumb expression on your face, scratch the
top of your head with one finger and make quiet baboon
noises. Look around the room as though you do not
know where you are. Make your way over to someone
and sniff him or her. Leave the room.
- Accuse someone of farting and act indignant. Make
a speech about public decency in a French accent.
- Yell, “Slave drivers!” Then proceed
to tap-dance while grumbling in a sarcastic voice,
“All I do is try to make you all happy and what
do I get for it? Nothing. That’s what I get.
Lousy ingrates.”
- Hide behind a lamp and say loudly, “That
went terrible. I hope they can’t see me.”
Then pretend to cry.
- Twitch and spasm—fall to the ground if you
have to—until someone laughs, and then say,
“See, I told you it was a funny joke.”
The best advice that I can give you
is to not tell these terrible jokes anymore. If that
isn’t possible, then the above five “joke
fixers” should help. Good luck.
