Excerpt From Gramma Knows the F Word by Ted Schredd

Being competitive can bring out the best and worst in people. Competition is like spice. It can add zest, but too much can leave a bad taste in your mouth. Too much focus on winning will take the fun right out of the event. If you're a competitive person, this article may not make sense, but just hear me out.

What is the purpose of a game? To play or to win? When you are addicted to winning, you create a lot of losers. It seems like we are all trying to win the rat race, but the winner of that race is a rat. Western culture teaches us to win, but it's hard to have fun at a game when your only goal is to beat everyone else.

That's where competition crosses the line of fun. When the desire to win becomes the only purpose of playing the game. You can say that competition is a natural thing and you would be 100 percent right. Animals do it all the time. Yes, competition is part of the natural law. You see it everywhere, in politics, in professional sports, in the game of life.

I like to play competitively, but I also just like to play. If I manage to make a great play against a competitor in a sporting game that's fantastic, but if they become obsessed with trying to get revenge for my maneuver then it is no longer fun. The classic example is when a professional team is losing or just about to lose a game and they try cheap shots and fighting to prove their worth. Too bad, too late, you already lost. Being a good competitor also means having great sportsmanship skills.

You don't have to play games that require a winner or a loser. It is impossible to have a bad game of tag or poor water-fighting skills. When you play games that require keeping score, all you're doing is comparing your skills to your competitor's. You don't have to keep score all the time. Sometimes you can play just for the sake of playing. I used to hate golf, but now that I no longer keep score I have a great time. I can swing forty-seven times on the same shot and it just doesn't matter. Don't let your life or your games be overshadowed by rules and regulations.

Even if there are rules, it doesn't mean you have to use them. Adapt the rules in whatever game you're playing to maximize the enjoyable parts. If you are playing tennis against someone who has a very poor serve-could you overlook a couple of bad serves to keep the game going? Twist the rules to fit your needs. What if your rookie opponent never hits it in bounds? You could call every foul ball and win a crushing defeat or you could return them and say nothing.

Be quick to congratulate your opponents when you are beaten. Shake hands when you are done. Brag to others about what a great job they did at beating you. Pride yourself on your sense of fair play. Do not use excuses or blame anybody for the loss. They were just better than you on that particular day-nothing more, nothing less. If you pout about your loss, you look like a crybaby.

Winning is a cheap high that doesn't last. When you can learn to celebrate losing as much as you do when you win, you will be destined to a life of happiness. Winning isn't always finishing first, sometimes it's just finishing. Loving life, win or lose, will bring you infinite joy. Avoid sayings like winning at all cost. It sounds expensive to me.

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