By Lynda Kerr
I feel slightly sorry for people who expect
something for Valentine’s Day or who get
depressed because they are not "with someone".
I’m much happier being "with myself" than
being with Mr. Not-Right, and I certainly don't
want to get things because I expect them! Where’s
the surprise, the spontaneity, the true meaning
of a gift when you receive something because
you expect it?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a true
romantic. Candlelight, flowers, looking deep
into someone’s eyes, soulful dancing
with the feel of a body close, oil massages,
passion…ahem…yes, all very important
but we’re talking about a commercialized
day. It was designed to create profit for Hallmark,
Purdy’s, the florist companies and nearly
every fine restaurant in the free world! Many
people have been convinced that it’s
a must to receive those dozen roses, the big
diamond or the mushiest card on Valentine’s
Day or they don’t feel….what? Loved?
Last year I knew someone who was very upset
because she didn't get what she wanted for
Valentine’s Day. Her big commercial expectations
ruined her whole week. Do any of those card
or flower company's profits go toward the psychiatric
bills or the anti-depressant costs of the lovelorn
victims of a supposed Valentine's-Day-gone-wrong?
The way I see it you don’t have to play
the commercial Valentine’s game. You can
make many people happy with the use of your heart
and imagination. Give a poem, a quote or a joke;
give a compliment or a thank-you; call up a friend
or two or a relative and tell them you love them.
You could give an apple (it’s red); cut
out heart-shaped paper, write “I’m
Loved” on them and pin them on people;
wear red and say “Happy Valentine’s
Day” to everyone you see; or just bake
something heart-shaped. Remember when we were
in school and the teachers made us include everyone
in our giving of Valentines? Well, they certainly
had the right idea. Why not spread the good word
of appreciation so that there are less broken
hearts in the world?
Two years ago, my friend Jim & I decided
that since we were both single that we would
go out together for dinner on Valentine's Day.
We dressed up and went to Anton's and toasted
ourselves and each other and had a wonderful
time. Last year we invited our friend Marie to
join us. This year, Jim has a new love and Marie
may be occupied. My daughter's boyfriend is not
going to be in town so she decided I should take
her out for dinner! And whoever wants to join
us is welcome.
Valentine’s Day is just another
day to give love and expect nothing in return.
day is an opportunity to show love and we shouldn’t
need a special occasion to tell us to do that.
It’s kind of like only giving at Christmas
time…but what about the rest of the year?
Give some love, give nice thoughts or give some
laughter. For an extra Valentine’s challenge – surprise
someone with a love gift on any day but February
Lynda Kerr is a number-cruncher in Burnaby BC
Lynda’s friend emailed Discover
Fun with these additional comments:
Valentines seems to have various layers of
meaning for people. For some it is about giving
others. For some it brings home the fact that
they have no lover. For others yet, it is a
measuring stick of how much they are loved.
Valentines is a great time to give valentines,
cinnamon hearts and chocolate to friends and
family. Do I crave to be on the receiving end?
No. I don't need anyone "special" to
show me how much they love me.
A few years ago I decided that I wanted to see
if I could make every day a great day. Obviously
the law of averages says I am going to have crap
days, but I was going to give every day my undivided
attention. I was going to make it count. I was
going to make people feel good without expecting
anything in return.
The results have been incredible. I love my
life. I don't look forward to weekends because
every day is as good as a weekend. I have more
friends than I ever had. I am involved in more
activities than ever before. What has this got
to do with Valentines? Well, Valentines is a
fun day but it is just one out of a year of fun
As for me, I think I have all my bases covered.
I will give valentines to my loved ones. Since
I have adopted this way of living I haven't
lacked for lovers. I really don't care whether
or not whether or not I will receive valentines.
The odd thing of it all is that the more this
attitude takes root in my being, the more people
seem drawn to me. Go figure!
Marie de la Ronde